Speaking and Hearing and Miscommunication

I've been thinking a lot lately about the way we communicate. If we are on the writing/speaking end of things, to what extent are we responsible for the way things are heard or perceived? As a pastor, I have a high responsibility for the way people hear what I say. I do not want to cavalierly throw things out there and then complain when they are not understood in the way I meant them. Which is why I got off Facebook. My posts that were meant as food for thought were coming across in an entirely different way than I meant them. I am responsible for this, but the Facebook platform certainly does not help. Yes, we are welcome to scroll past things we do not agree with or comment with an opposing view, but I've never seen a conversation or shared meme that lead to a change of heart. If anything, both "sides" dig their heels in deeper and we come away more divided than when we began.

Communication is a two way street. We have all had things we've said misunderstood or misinterpreted. And we've all been yelled at only to be told by the person yelling that they were not yelling. *insert eye roll here* When a miscommunication happens, we like to place blame on the other person, no matter what seat we are in - speaker or hearer.

O Come, O Come, Emmanuel into my grief

I have a heavy heart. It has been a full week of processing, celebrating communion and Christ among us, and grieving the loss of Facebook from my life. I keep thinking of things I'd like to post or share, including a request for prayers for the outcome of the procedure I had Tuesday morning (a scope down my throat to check out my gut!).

There has been so much grieving in the last few weeks as a nation. Grieving the chasm between Americans who find themselves on different sides of the political line. It should not matter as we come together in church. Church is the place where our identity is first and foremost "child of God." The rest falls away as we sit side by side in the pews, share the peace, and take wafer and wine together at the table.

Moving Sucks - Ministry Rocks

I'm moving to Cheyenne in a week. The apartment is a wreak, things half packed and pictures down off the walls. My husband and I are using up our gift cards to local places, enjoying our remaining time with friends over good eats and delicious coffee, and... freaking out.

Seriously. We don't want to leave Madison! I love so many people here! I know these roads. I know the towns surrounding Madison (and how to pronounce them). We have our favorite coffee roaster and our doctors and vets and our therapists and hair stylists. I don't want to find all those things again. I do not.

Dull Saws and Burnout

I heard about this story from my amazing Spiritual Director a few months ago and then looked for the story again tonight as it was ringing true for me (this quote from here):

 "Stephen Covey tells a story of a man who’s working laboriously to saw down a tree. The work is difficult, and although he stays at his task diligently sawing away, very little progress is made. The saw blade is dull, too dull to make much of a dent in the tree trunk. When asked why he doesn’t sharpen the saw and therefore make the work easier and faster, the man says he can’t afford to stop. The tree must be cut down, and there’s no time to stop and sharpen the saw!" 

As I sat in that same Spiritual Director's office last week, sinking farther and farther into her couch, I told her how exhausted I was and how I didn't want to go to work lately and just felt blah. She looked across at me, almost lost to the folds of her couch and told me that these were early signs of burn out. She recommended vacation. ASAP. I of course said there was too much to do. I'm too far behind. 

Being Girly and Pastor-like

Me at my Ordination in Dec 2012

I am a female pastor. Well, really, I'm a female AND I'm a pastor… but the two separate identities are so intertwined that when I discuss one, the other arises.

The topic of women in ministry is in many ways a very old debate and in others, still quite new. My church body, the ELCA, has been ordaining women since 1970. I had a female pastor in the church I was confirmed in. I knew that female pastors were rare, but there was never a time that option was closed to me as it was to women even a generation before me. 

I remember thinking, when I first considered being a pastor, that I didn't want to become a frumpy pastor. This is tragically judgmental commentary on how I felt about female pastors at the time. Most of the females I had met in ministry had short hair, dressed in pants and button up tops, and were not…. girly.