On a Spectrum

I purchased a gorgeous rainbow scarf Saturday at the synod assembly from a man who was selling things from Jerusalem. I love it. In part because I really love being in solidarity with people of all sexual orientations and gender identities. Wearing a scarf is just one way to show my support. :)

If you are clever, you'll realize that when I say people of all sexual orientations and gender identities, that's all people. Including you. What's most important is that it includes the people that others consider, well, less than human in some way. I've certainly seen that in how people look on those who are transgender. Heck, I've seen a dad look askance when his son comes home from daycare with painted toe nails before telling him that's something for girls. We've all seen it - from the very innocent gender bias (I love this dad and kid I speak of) to the horribly brutal acts waged on the misunderstood across cultures.

Perhaps it is a millennial generation thing, but what's the big deal? Do you honestly think God would have made someone, then turned around and said, "Just kidding about that one, folks. Can you fix IT?" Doubtful. Actually, impossible.

Our identity and sexual orientation are part of who we all are. It is not a choice. For instance, I don't remember making a choice to be heterosexual. I just remember liking this boy named K.C. in kindergarten and chasing boys around the playground and putting on fancy dress up box weddings with my male cousin. Was there a choice in that? Nope.



My role as an ally in the GLBTQ community has led some people to assume that I am gay. My favorite story is when I was on internship. After telling a man I had recently been to Mexico, he asked, "So knowing that you're single and that you've been to Mexico and all that… are you gay?" I started laughing but managed a straight faced, "No sir, but I support my friends who are." (If anyone knows the connection between going to Mexico and being gay, let me know?)

As an ally, I've done my time examining my own fears and prejudices, wondering if there is anything in me in those letters. Wondering if my being single at the age of 29 is the universe's way of telling me that there is no GUY out there for me… If I'm honest, I feared it.

Here's what I've come up with. We're all on a spectrum. There is no straight, bi, or gay - three limited choices that most use to narrowly define the sexual preferences of millions of people in this world. I like men. I've found a few women attractive over the years but have never wanted to do anything about it. But show me a fine back side on a male and my imagination is great. And let me tell you, I got to row in the very back seat of the men's eight when I did crew in college and I blame this experience for why I find backs on guys so attractive. Evidence:

[Disclaimer: I just found this on a google image search. Chad Condon apparently knew the appeal of a rower's backside when he posed for this calendar photo as a fundraiser.]

I hate saying I'm straight because that implies that others who don't identify that way are crooked, bent, twisted. And that's rude. (Great history post on that here from another blogger.) So I identify as heterosexual. But this still implies that there are two boxes to check off rather than a blank to fill in. The entire world's sexual preferences don't fit into two boxes. Or three. Or a million. And frankly, I don't think most people are 100% on either side of the spectrum. Ditto gender and politics and religion…

Besides, can any one word define us? Tell our story for us? Nope. And ultimately, I care more about a story than a label. AND SO DID JESUS. Take another look at the woman at the well. Jesus looked past the labels that dared to define who she was in society.

Much more can and will be said on this subject. Until then, I leave you with the sexiest couple in creation:

That'd be Patrick Wilson and Dagmara Dominczyk.